My friend, co-worker, and fellow Asian Kristen has written an interesting post over on my company’s blog. The post referenced how subsidized group trips to Taiwan is just one of the many lengths people are going to in an effort to combat the rise in inter-racial dating amongst Asians. Besides the decline in Asians marrying one another, there is also a growing disconnect in heritage and ancestry.
As a first generation Vietnamese-American I have a few thoughts on the topic. First off my racial identity has always been something I’ve thought (and often joked) about. My New England upbringing wasn’t like many other Asian Americans I’ve met. I grew up learning English as my primary language and the while the culture was there; it was never really forced upon me. I was put into school where I was often the only Asian in class. I was surrounded by white people and their habits kinda rubbed off on me. Not until I got into High School did I really see how other Asians interacted. I noticed that they all stuck together, their circles were made up of fellow Asians with an occasional token white person. I was the opposite- I surround my circles with others and I would become the token person. I didn’t see myself any different than the friends I chose to have.
Secondly, I did the stereotypical Asian things sometimes: I played the violin up until Senior Year and I took Honors and AP classes (however not as many as the other Asians.) When I was in sixth grade I tried to play little league baseball and I failed horribly- I guess I’m no Hideki Matsui. For the longest time I thought I was going to become a doctor, but then I grew up and realized that’s what my parents wanted. Again, how stereotypical is it for me to think about pursuing a career in medicine or computer science. However that’s where the stereotypical things end.
Today I saw a rather funny comedy routine by a Korean comedian Esther Ku which really sums up my take on dating. While my family often asked if I would be interesting in dating other Asians my position is summed up in her words, “I don’t wanna date an Asian [girl]- I like regular people.” Regular people was a growing trend in my family, since I was born I’ve seen the majority of cousins marry outside my race. I now enjoy seeing my mixed second cousins at family functions. Currently and in the past I’ve dated mostly white girls and it’s not that I’m against dating within my race- I just find myself attracted to other races the majority of the time.
So sure- sometimes I’ll throw up the peace sign and enjoy eating at Pho 75, but I sometimes also enjoy looking like a Prep, Wes Anderson movies, and very rarely- Asian Girls.
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This is too true. I myself and very much attracted to white men, and no Asians. Maybe it’s because we’re so white washed or exposed to so many while growing up. Tru’ dat.
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Well, some possible explanations for your dating preferences:
1) (The conservative one) You seem the rebellious type. Don’t wanna fit in the status-quo, just to not be in it. And I meant status-quo relative to what your family wants. A form of family rebellion.
2) (The more liberal one) Preferences that were formed based on the environment you grew up in. Apparently, you spent a majority of your early years in a white place. The early years are when you just absorb and absorb everything and anything (baby-toddler years). So preference for white women could be reasonable by this.
Could be either one. Could be both. Could be others. *shrug*
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Patrick Reply:
December 25th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
If you read my post earlier this year on why nobody wants to date me I think it’s the latter of the two reasons you stated. Good insights though- you called it.
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