When I first saw the title of Lilu’s latest post I knew I had to read it. For the longest time I considered myself a nice guy, and I never knew if that was bad or good. I’m totally in support of her plead to the women of the world to really consider that nice guy that you may look over- and I could only hope that her words change the minds of some of the women I meet.
However the post also got me thinking about a lot of gripes I have about dating, women, and probably myself.
What I’ve Learning About Dating (aka Why I’ll Never Get A Date Again)
- Trying to talk to girls at a bar sucks: Why do guys even try? You walk into a bar with your buddies and you got drinks, music, and if you are lucky, beautiful girls. Never can a place be a source of so much fun and so much rejection at the same time. Here’s the thing: the action of talking to any girl you don’t know in a bar is daunting because it’s very blatant action. If a guy walks up to a girl to talk to her- it’s 99.9% that he’s hitting on you. And that’s fine if the girl is into meeting people and interested in talking. But who can tell the difference between the girl that wants to talk to guys and the girl that wants to stick with their pack and in Dane Cook’s words, “just dance.” Guys put a lot on the line when they walk up to the girl, and it’s very easy for the girl to reject it and send him home crashing. If I know one thing I’ll never meet a girl in a bar (besides Carrie but that was a different story.)
- I don’t know if I could ever date a Blogger: As a blogger myself, I wonder what it would be like for two people that openly wrote on the Internet to date. Would they by spying on each other’s thoughts on their blog? How more/less stalkerish is it compared the usual Facebook stalking? Not really a grip but an interesting question that would bring up a lot of issues I’m sure.
- I don’t have the right look/personality/height: I’ve gone back and forth on this constantly. I don’t care what studies, survey, or polls say; it’s much easier to get in the door if you look good. Sure a personality may keep a girl longer but I often wonder what is it about how I look that’s not right. Sure I’m not 6′ and I don’t have a six-pack that’s not found in the fridge, but I think I’m damn funny sometimes but being funny doesn’t always convey across a bar while looking fantastic does. If a girl sees you across the room and thinks you look funny- that’s not a good thing. Unlike my next item I’ve tried to gain some sort of control over this so I can say I’ve tried my best under looks- but who knows if it’s enough?
- The X-Factor: Sometimes things happen beyond your exact control that ruins a date, relationship, life. You gotta realize it’s nothing you can control and move on. Did a emergency with a friend ruin that first date? Maybe it was raining when you went out on that picnic. Sometimes you have to deal with what you’re dealt.
- Sometimes Women Play The Race Card: Hey this one goes both ways- so I know I can’t complain but I’ll put it out there. I’ve seen this with a lot of the Internet dating that goes on that we get picky when it comes to race. Those that know me know that while I am not totally against dating other Asians- it’s a simply that I’m not attracted to most Asians- it’s a product of growing up in the whitest state ever. You’ll actually see that a lot that other Asians often don’t date within their race. I’m all for it. However it sucks when I see that cute girl actually pictures their ideal mate as average Joe white guy. I feel that I get rejected before I even get a chance. Does it make me wish I was white- I’ll have to let PostSecret answer that one.
- I don’t know if I should be happy my friends aren’t setting me up: Do my friends think I’m happy single or capable of meeting someone- or that it wouldn’t be a good idea that I date any of their friends?
- Does Internet dating make me look desperate?: I think I can answer this one no based on recent conversations.
- How many bridges am I willing to burn?: You know what I’m talking about, you are friends with someone you’d like to be more than friends with- but you don’t want to risk it all by letting them know how you feel. It’s not that I have anyone like that right now, but how about the new people you meet? Do you try and be friends with them first or otherwise? I wonder if I could still be friends with someone that knew I was hitting on them and got rejected.
- I Hate Games: Do you know why I love my friend Rebecca? Because she’s one of the most straight forward people I’ve met. I’d love to take her straight-forwardness and bring it to my dating life. I feel that I’m rather straight forward, now if only women could be…
- Never Just Do Movie & Dinner: I actually enjoy trying to come up with some sort of date that’s not typical and boring, maybe it’s just rearranging the order of the activities or putting some other spin on it, I think the dating process should be exciting and fun- not a cliche activity.
Ok that list is kind of a downer so I need to draw up this one…
Why You Should Totally Date Me (aka Why I Still Have Hope I’ll Get A Date)
To avoid gross inaccuracies about me I asked 11 girls that know me to suggest a reason:
- Melanie: you’re kind of a geek if you don’t mind my saying so. (this is a good thing.) I have always found “geeks” to be incredibly genuine.
- Rachel: Well you’re considerate. You walked me home, which is big points in my book. Of course you could have just trying to get lucky, but..
- Shannon: You are a sweet, caring, generous person. You knows how to make someone laugh, has killer dance moves, and will always hold the door for a lady. If you ever need DMB tickets he is the one to go too.
- Katie: You can take girls on fun dates: Wizards Games, Nationals Games… not the same old dinner and a movie.
- Stephanie: Reason number one: your license plate. But you also make people around feel comfortable no matter where you are or what you are doing, you make it a point to have fun and make sure those around you have fun.
- Emily: He’s awesome and always fun to hang out with.
- Carrie: You’re an exceptionally friendly and outgoing person. You have a dorky side but that’s something I think is fun about you. You’re a great writer and throw yourself into the things you like to do.
- Diana: You make a lot of money and have a big donger? That’s what most chicks go for. Well, you’re also smart and motivated and fun to be around so chicks dig that too.
- Laura M.: You like watching obscure movies on Netflix, you like going on late night drives,and you make secret suprise birthday cookies. (Note: I cannot bake so please do not always expect Surprise Birthday cookies)
- Laura B.: I would date you because you give great hugs and knows how to treat a lady right.
So there you go- ten answers that should be sure to inflate my ego- but maybe there’s hope for me. I asked one more person for her answer:
Nicole: I think looks are important and you are lying if you say they don’t matter. So obviously I think you are a good looking guy, and once I got to know you a little better you became even more attractive to me. I’m honestly shocked that you don’t have a girlfriend, you are a great catch. Lucky for me! P.S. One week til I see you!