Let’s Invent Another Saying: Douché

Back in 2006, I tried to shorten Adams Morgan and call it AdMo. It didn’t catch on however Suburban Sweetheart recently used it in a tweet.

So chalk that one up as a fail.

Then earlier this year I wanted to call an epic fail pulling a Chien-Ming Wang, because the Yankees pitcher sucks. I’m sorry NY fans but he does and you know it.

I soon forgot to use it in my daily speech so chalk that one as a fail… or pulling a Chien-Ming Wang.

That’s not going to stop me from inventing new sayings, maybe one day I’ll find a winner and I’ll be credited forever on Wikipedia.

I was talking with LiLu about this last week, you know when you are talking to someone and they retort with a witty counter point? You often say, “touché.”

Often the comment is factual and neutral but sometimes it’s a slam on your argument and you are left speechless with no options but to say, “touché!”

Well for those moments I think you just make a simple letter switch: Douché. Because sometimes the person is more than countering your point, he’s being a douchebag.

Here’s an example:

Me: You know I love drinking soda from a can.

Bag of douche: Yes but what about the aluminum? You can recycle it but it’s just as better buying 2 liter bottles instead and use cups. I also hope you aren’t throwing those plastic rings into the trash- they kill dolphins you know. You should be more considerate of the environment now a days…

Me: Douché.

If you say it fast enough, it sounds like the former word and you may get away with dropping it without anyone knowing the difference.

Because if there’s someone I hate, it’s a douchebag.