Let’s Invent Another Saying: Douché

by Patrick on June 25, 2009

Back in 2006, I tried to shorten Adams Morgan and call it AdMo. It didn’t catch on however Suburban Sweetheart recently used it in a tweet.

So chalk that one up as a fail.

Then earlier this year I wanted to call an epic fail pulling a Chien-Ming Wang, because the Yankees pitcher sucks. I’m sorry NY fans but he does and you know it.

I soon forgot to use it in my daily speech so chalk that one as a fail… or pulling a Chien-Ming Wang.

That’s not going to stop me from inventing new sayings, maybe one day I’ll find a winner and I’ll be credited forever on Wikipedia.

I was talking with LiLu about this last week, you know when you are talking to someone and they retort with a witty counter point? You often say, “touché.”

Often the comment is factual and neutral but sometimes it’s a slam on your argument and you are left speechless with no options but to say, “touché!”

Well for those moments I think you just make a simple letter switch: Douché. Because sometimes the person is more than countering your point, he’s being a douchebag.

Here’s an example:

Me: You know I love drinking soda from a can.

Bag of douche: Yes but what about the aluminum? You can recycle it but it’s just as better buying 2 liter bottles instead and use cups. I also hope you aren’t throwing those plastic rings into the trash- they kill dolphins you know. You should be more considerate of the environment now a days…

Me: Douché.

If you say it fast enough, it sounds like the former word and you may get away with dropping it without anyone knowing the difference.

Because if there’s someone I hate, it’s a douchebag.

  • http://aliceblogs.blogspot.com Alice

    i like it! i was skeptical at first, because it reminded me of those annoying mcd’s commercials where they stick an “é” on the end of normal words because you’re drinking a stupid mcd’s coffee. but in context, douché totally wins.

  • http://www.dmbosstone.com Patrick

    Thanks Alice! I hope you use it proudly!

  • http://www.ihatesomuch.com Maxie

    I will use any word that makes me sound sophisticated… like tar-jay instead of target.

    However my new favorite word is rah-tard from The Hangover.

    Are you going to change your header every day?

  • http://www.dmbosstone.com Patrick

    Exactly, it’s the kind of a sophisticated way to call someone out.

  • http://francobeans.com f.B

    I’ll use it. I like shiny, new words. And you’re right: I just said it about ten times in a row and couldn’t tell the difference!

    Also, I am a rah-tard.

  • http://noticedfromnorthwest.wordpress.com/ NoticedFromNorthwest

    Really? I see people using AdMo all the time…

    Like the new word.

  • http://www.dmbosstone.com Patrick

    Thanks f.B and NoticeFromNorthwest for the support- of Douche and AdMo!

  • Mike Chiasson

    Dude I don’t know what you are talking about!! At my work Chien-Ming Wang is all the rage!! And of course Douché will be now as well!!!

  • http://www.dmbosstone.com Patrick

    Mike: I’m just inventing words all over the place- what will we think of next?

  • http://www.suburbansweetheart.com Suburban Sweetheart

    I love it. You can TOTALLY get away with it sounding like “touché” if needed.

    PS: Thanks for the AdMo shout out.

  • http://www.dmbosstone.com Patrick

    Thanks Suburban Sweetheart, I really enjoyed it when it showed up on your Twitter feed!

  • http://deadmoon.com deadmoon

    My wife and I were just laughing our assess off at this. Although we have to say that “douche-nozzle” as penned by Jon Stewart is usually the preferred term. But under the circumstances you’ve indicated ( somewhat similar to a sphincter says what ) this usage is highly appropriate and encouraged!

    in other words, Success! we’ll propagate this meme!

  • http://www.dmbosstone.com Patrick

    Thanks deadmoon, I appreciate the support!

  • Pingback: Somebody Else Wants To Invent New Phrases Too! | The Definitive Dmbosstone

  • Matthew

    I have to say… I was disappointed to find this website at first. I thought I had discovered this ironic twist of the tongue first. But, it appears I am a year too late… touché, my fellow word enthusiast.

    • http://www.dmbosstone.com Patrick

      Touché indeed. Keep on truckin’ however- I’m sure you’ll figure out a new word none of us have invented yet.

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