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It’s Beyond Me, Help Me Mommy…

This is the post that will finish any hopes I have for running for any kind of public office. As we know if you want to be President of the United States you have to dress up like a middle-aged parent.

I did not do that for Halloween.

While some people dressed up like trashy ice skaters, sexy genies, or clever puns; I did something a little more unorthodox. I’m not talking about forming a tracksuit mafia, changing my religion, or going back home.

I spent my Halloween putting on a midnight performance of the Rocky Horror Show (still going on for two more weekends!) I knew that Halloween, midnight, and Rocky Horror meant a big crowd and lots of costumes. Most of my cast arrived to the stage in costume, only to take them off and put on their show costumes. The director showed up looking like the belle of the ball. I was dressed in grey dress pants and a grey T-shirt.

But I had an ace up my sleeve.

First I had to get some make-up on, so I went downstairs and got the cast to put make-up on my face, citing I had no costume for Halloween. The cast was glad to help and I sat down and each cast member took some of their make-up and put it on a different part of my face:

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Step One: Make-Up on Face

Next was the more nerve wracking part, earlier in the week I asked our costumer if she had any extra costume pieces I could wear for Halloween. She agreed to help me out and would pass by the stage before the show. I nervously waited in the upstairs loft for her to arrive. 20 minutes til curtain and no sign of her yet. Finally she arrived with a large bag full of pieces. The heels barely fit and the corset was way too small. But like Tim Gunn I made it work.

My sound guy and light board operator walked in on me getting undressed with the costumer, they wanted to take a photo of me in my boxers but I convinced them they would get a better photo if they waited 10 minutes. After I put on the fishnet stockings I got at Hot Topic earlier that day they got their photo:

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Step Two: Hot Tranny Mess.

I was so hot. It was also very breezy, never wore anything that short before.

So I put on a long coat I brought from home and went downstairs to the dressing room. I was about to call the five minute warning and a few people noticed my legs and knew something was up.

I strut into the dressing room and yell, “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your five minute warning!”

And with those lines I take off my coat to the roar of the cast.

I called the entire show in costume, walking in heels wasn’t too bad except for a few moments I almost took a spill. During every intermission I walk out on stage to sweep up the stage, that night I got a few calls from the audience.

There’s a reason I’m not a performer: I can’t act, sing, or dance. But I will tell you- I didn’t mind being on stage at all in that moment. Dressing up is part of the Rocky Horror Culture and I totally enjoyed being a part of it for a night.

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43 comments to It’s Beyond Me, Help Me Mommy…

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